Ten More Things That Haven't Happened
by Lady Silence
Summary: Ten more scenes in the Superman Returns universe with Lacey the Bitter Mary Sue and the obviously crazy people around her. The rating is for language.
1. One

**Ten More Things That Haven't Happened...**

Title: Ten More Things That Haven't Happened…  
Author: Silence  
Fandom: Superman Returns and Ohmygod! A Mary-Sue!  
Rating: Brought to you by the letters M, or as I used to remember, R. (Mostly for language, and I don't think I was that bad this time.)  
Pairing: It's certainly not Clois. Which is funny, because I'm a Clois shipper for all other versions of Superman. Huh. Go figure.  
Spoilers: Of course there are spoilers for the movie. Spoilers for general other fandoms too. There are hints and nods toward previous fics too, but nothing really informative.  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey and believe me she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.  
Summary: Ten more moments in Lacey's new life in the Superman Returns 'verse.  
Notes: A few plot bunnies from last time obviously decided to breed.

Previous Mary-Sue Fics:

**Confessions of a Mary-Sue:** Lord of the Rings Movie-verse (Finished)  
**The Goddess Must Be Crazy:** Buffy/Potter Mesh-verse (Unfinished… Oops.)  
**The State of Denial and Delusions:** Supernatural (WIP. Honest.)  
**Ten Things That Haven't Happened:** Superman Returns (Finished)

* * *

_**One**_

Lacey Voorhees spun around in her desk chair with a disgruntled sigh. It was a new year and all she had to show for it was a big honking case of boredom. Oh, and a nifty coffee mug with penguins on it that she got from Lois. It had to be Lois. Only Lois knew that she even liked penguins. Damn Anita Blake influence. At least she wasn't out trying to boff everything in St. Louis…

"Lacey, I nee-"

She plucked a manila folder off her desk and handed it to Perry White without stopping her spinning. "There you go, sir. Don't forget about your conference call at one-thirty." She didn't pay attention to Perry as he smirked to himself while he headed back to his office without so much as a thank you.

Meanwhile, Lacey was still spinning around in her chair like a five year old. At least she was until a pair of hands gripped the back of her chair and brought her to a stop.

"Aren't you dizzy yet?"

Lacey swayed a little in her seat, as she looked up at Clark Kent's blue eyes that hid behind his glasses. Clark. He was the newish factor in this entire life of hers. While trying to keep him from becoming emo boy, they had become sort of friends.. At least until New Year's Eve. Then he had to go and do something dumb like kiss her. Sure, she knew it wasn't anything romantic, but it still made for a What The Fuck moment.

Not that it wasn't a good kiss, because it was. It was just.. It. But they continued to interact the way they always did. WTF moment aside, there was a new understanding between them.. And maybe a few more questions.

She tilted her head and pushed her rambly thoughts aside. "Not yet, why?"

"Because I'm getting dizzy just watching you." Clark smiled at her.

Watching her? A dark eyebrow curved upward and the corner of her mouth quirked up. "What were you doing watching me?"

Clark knew his phrasing was wrong the moment his comment slipped out. Lacey was going to milk it for all it was worth. "I wasn't- I mean, I didn't.. Nothing." Great. Now she actually had him stammering and it wasn't an act.

Ooh. She could work with the Clark act. "Don't watch me so much that you get dizzy and fall for me." She flashed a teasing grin. "You could get bruised." Lacey stared up at him, waiting for his comeback.

She was going to play it that way, was she? After a quick look around, and noticing no one paying attention to them, he smirked at her. "I think I can handle that."

"Psh. Dream on, blue eyes." Lacey rolled her eyes and pushed her chair out of his grasp, causing his balance to falter. "So what are you working on?"

"Perry has me working on the rumors about someone dressed as a bat over in Gotham." He noticed that recognition filled her eyes. "Lacey.."

"I know nothing." She said, knowing full well it was too late.

Clark smiled at her. "I think you know a great many things."

Lacey frowned. "Oh, sure. Go ahead. Throw that back in my face."


	2. Two

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

Author's Notes: Because I completely forgot to add this in the previous post, I'd like to give a big thank you to those that have given me feedback in whatever form used. I really do appreciate it, even if I don't get around to saying so on an individual basis.

* * *

**_Two_**

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive."

"Really? Because this is serious. I'm giving you a chance to back out of this. You should take it."

"How many times do I have to tell you? I trust you."

"You shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't think meatloaf is supposed to look like that." Lacey said as she stared at the chunk of charred meat she had removed from her oven. She promptly dumped it into the trashcan and ignored the chuckle coming from Clark. As soon as she put the pan in the sink she headed for the refrigerator, but she didn't open it. Oh no.

She started banging her head on it.

"Whoa! Hey!" Clark exclaimed and he rushed over. He spun her around so that she was facing him. "Stop that. You might actually hurt yourself."

"It wouldn't hurt anything important." Lacey muttered with a roll of her eyes. She leaned her head back onto the cool surface of the fridge door. "I _told_ you that I couldn't cook."

He smiled at her. "I'm sorry that I didn't believe you. But if I remember, you did mention that you cooked at Piz-"

She covered his mouth with her hand. "SHH! No! We don't speak the name of that foul place here. It's _my_ kryptonite, thank you. It's as evil as the Eye looming over Mordor."

Clark chuckled and removed her hand. "What possessed you to attempt to cook anyway?"

"I just wanted to see if I could do it." She shrugged and let out a bitter laugh. "Apparently not. But I kind of like making these futile efforts every once in awhile. I _do_ get tired of eating take out and frozen dinners. I can do stir-fry. And rice. Sweet rice is fun. Pasta is easy. But again, if you eat enough of that stuff, you just want to shoot yourself in the head." Lacey paused. "Maybe that's just me."

"Why don't I fix something?" Clark suggested, amused by her rambling. He was rewarded with a shifty look from Lacey. "What?"

"You do _not_ cook."

"Actually-"

"No!" Lacey interrupted and shoved him lightly. "You can't! That isn't allowed!"

Clark sighed. "I'm going to regret this, but why not?"

"Because!" Lacey stomped her foot. "It wouldn't be fair! You're already Mr. Almost Perfect. For you to have the ability to cook would give you an even more unfair advantage. So no. You can't cook. I hereby decree you have naught that ability."

"My mother would beg to differ, ma'am." He was trying not to laugh. "Did you just call me 'Mr. _Almost_ Perfect'?"

She nodded and glared up at him. "Yes I did.. And you just called me 'ma'am'. Why did you call me that? Are you implying I look old? Because I don't!" She gestured toward herself. "I may not be a prom queen, but I'm at _least _average! And hello? I'm in good shape! I can't believe you-"

He leaned down toward her with a smirk. "You like being a drama queen, don't you."

"It's one of my special skills." She replied, returning the smirk with one of her own.

"I thought so. Now what were you saying about me being 'Almost Perfect'?"

"You're too tall."

That took him by surprise and he couldn't hide it. "What?"

"Too. Tall. You're like, freakishly tall!" Lacey complained. "Everywhere I go, I'm always surrounded by tall people. It gives me an inferiority complex. Why do you guys have to be so tall? And you don't smile enough. You need to. It's good for the soul. Besides, it's a nice smile. And the hair. Really, when you ahem.. Change.. Do you keep hair gel in your pocket to get the curl? Because you have that then and it's like perfect looking when it shouldn't be. Why do you- Um.. why are you looking at me like that?"

How exactly was he looking at her? He knew he was smiling and trying hard not to burst out laughing, but what was she seeing?

"You aren't going to throw me out the window, are you? Because if you are, can I get some candy first?"

Clark laughed. This was why he liked her. She was nuts. "I'll think about it."


	3. Three

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

_**Three**_

She knew she'd find her here. It was lunchtime and she knew that her target frequented the diner. Maybe it was the fifties theme. The homegrown feel. Or maybe it was because the diner was just around the corner from the Planet.

Lacey was a little confused when Lois Lane joined her at her booth and sat down across from her. The two stared at each other as a waitress came by.

"What can I get you two ladies?"

What the heck was Lois doing here? Lacey wondered over the possibilities as she ordered a chocolate ice cream soda and a large order of fries. Lois quickly followed up by ordering a hacienda chicken salad and a cup of coffee.

The waitress left, leaving the women in silence.

Lois set her arm on the table and rested her chin in her hand while watching Lacey. "You're good for him."

_Okay.._ Lacey was even more lost now. "Good for who?"

"For Smallville." Their drinks arrived and Lois took a sip of her coffee. "He's relaxed around you. It's good for him."

"Urm.. Right. If you say so." Lacey wasn't sure where this conversation was going. It wasn't that she didn't like Lois, because she did. When she first woke up in this world, she had fully expected to hate her, but it turned out that she couldn't. When it came down to it, personal issues aside, Lois was a pretty decent person. "Can I ask what brought this on?"

"It keeps his mind from other things." Lois said with a mild shrug. She knew Clark used to be in love with her. Maybe he still was. But at least now, he wasn't acting like a puppy. It wasn't right. Not for _him_.

Lacey stirred her soda with her straw. "What things?"

"Things that are better to move on from. And things.. That need a little time."

It wasn't the words that caught Lacey's attention. It was the tone Lois used. Her attention went full focus on Lois as the reporter took another drink of her coffee, oblivious to Lacey's inner musings. _She couldn't.. Could she?_ "Okay, you're being cryptic woman, and see, I don't respond well to cryptic moments. I tend to want to smack things with wiffle bats and sledge hammers."

Lois smirked at her and shook her head. Her secrets were her own and while she liked Lacey, she didn't dare share at this point. "I just think you're good for each other right now. You get him to laugh and he gets you to smile."

"Right…" Lacey sighed internally. This was weird and she was almost positive that Lois knew the truth about Superman. Did she remember? Naturally, she figured out about her son, but the secret identity? This meant something.

Their orders arrived at the table and the pair began to eat while making small talk. Lois asked her why all she ordered was some fries and Lacey replied that fries made everything better. See? Small talk.

"Can I ask you a question?" Lacey suddenly asked.

Lois looked intrigued. "Of course, but it doesn't mean I'll answer."

Lacey fought the urge to smile. "Just.. Pretty much everyone at the Planet knows about your history with Superman. Why-"

"You want to know why I'm still with Richard and not Superman." Lois finished for her. Even her sister Lucy had asked her that one. She watched Lacey's silent nod. "Because the day I went to visit Superman in the hospital.. Richard offered to take me. What he was really saying was that he was letting me go. The problem with that was that I didn't want to let _him_ go."

"I'm not denying there was or still is something between me and Superman." Lois continued and thought about Jason. That was a bond that could never be broken. "But Superman is the ideal. No one can live up to him."

"I don't get it." Lacey said, confused. "But you could have him, why-"

"Because he can't live up to Richard either." Lois shrugged. She'd thought about this. "Both are good men. The best, no question. Ask me a few years ago and I would have chosen Superman. But wants change. Needs change. People change. Richard gives me what I want and need now. We're equals in every way that matters to me and I love him."

Lacey could understand that, but something still pulled on her curiosity. "But are you _in_ love with him?"

Lois grinned. "Absolutely." She paused with a thoughtful smile. "I think I just needed real, solid, face to face closure to make myself realize what I had and stood to lose."

That insight alone made Lacey's respect for Lois go up even more. Everywhere she turned, this world just kept surprising her.

It was starting to freak her out.


	4. Four

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

**_Four_**

February. Another month Lacey hated. It wasn't the fact that Valentine's Day was involved. She loved Valentine's Day. Not for the romance, but for the sales. Candy sales were always great. Plus she had a soft spot for buying cute plush toys when she saw them. It was the fact that pink was used. Pink was her color bane.

She was staring (more like glaring) at pink at that very moment as she kicked the vending machine in front of her. "Give it to me, you son of a bitch!" Lacey knew deep in her heart, that the pink hearts that someone had plastered all over the machine were the true reason she couldn't get what she wanted.

A hand gave the vending machine a slight tap and the bag of Skittles that the machine had been holding hostage fell where it was supposed to. Lacey squealed in delight and snatched her breakfast from the machine.

"Thanks, I-" Lacey's gratitude froze as she noticed who her savior was. A _very_ handsome man with dark hair was standing next to her with an amused smile on his face. Lacey knew right then and there that she had to have died.

Bruce fucking Wayne had just saved her Skittles.

"Holy shi… I mean.. um.. Hi. Thanks." Lacey wanted to bang her head on the vending machine. She half-heartedly offered him the candy. "Um.. You're welcome to them…"

Bruce chuckled. "No thank you. But maybe you could point me in the direction of Perry White's office?"

Lacey reeled in her fangirl impulses and nodded. She wasn't going to go starry eyed and fangirl now. "I can show you, but he's not in right now."

"That's alright. I can wait."

She nodded again and led him to Perry's office, ignoring the whispers of some of the newsroom. Lacey noticed Lois looking up from her computer with _very_ curious look. Lacey just shrugged. What else could she do?

Lacey pushed open the door to Perry's office and led Bruce inside. Then she gestured to one of the chairs. "Please, have a seat, Mr. Wayne. Can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?" Me? Lacey mentally winced at that.

He smiled at her. "Coffee, please."

Lacey nodded. "I'll be right back."

It was when she was pouring the one and only Bruce Wayne his coffee when Lacey was nearly startled to death.

"Was that Bruce Wayne I saw in the chief's office?" Clark asked.

Lacey jumped and knocked over an empty coffee mug, which Clark promptly caught. "Don't do that!"

"Do what?" Clark Kent, the portrait of innocence. He set the mug back on the counter and joined Lacey as she headed back for Perry's office. "What's he doing here?"

"Do I look like I know?" Her reply came out sounding bitchier than she intended. "Sorry. I don't mean to be shrewish. But he rescued my Skittles and I'm trying not to become some kind of drooling fangirl."

"Fangirl?"

Lacey shrugged. "Billionaire playboy. Uber hottie. Do I really need to say more?" Nope. She wasn't going to mention the Batman thing. She'd already told Clark a handful of information to look into on his own about the vigilante just last month. That was enough.

Clark frowned at her even though she couldn't see him. "Wait a minute, you actually-"

"Hey, you should ask him about the Batman." Lacey interrupted him. She was not about to talk about her tiny little crush on Bale/Bruce/Batman. "He's Gotham's local prince, maybe he has some good gossip." She quickened her pace and returned to Perry's office, where she handed Bruce his coffee. "Here you go, Mr. Wayne."

Clark's frown increased as he followed her inside, and he forced himself to stumble and run into the doorframe.

Both Lacey and Bruce looked up. Lacey snickered, which made Clark feel a little better. Bruce stared at him with mild interest.

"Oh, um, sorry. I didn't-" Clark stammered an apology while mentally sizing Bruce up. But even Clark winced at how that sounded in his head. He really _did _spend too much time with Lacey.

"It's not a problem." Bruce stood up and offered his hand. "You're Clark Kent. I've read some of your work. I'm sorry I missed out on meeting you the last time I was here."

Clark was genuinely surprised and showed it, even as he shook the hand. "Really? I mean, it's nice to meet you. Bruce Wayne, right?"

Lacey watched the pair with awe. _The _two big heroes of the world meeting each other for the first time, and she was the witness. Oh man, she wanted to squeal in delight. But she remained grounded as she picked up a few things off of Perry's desk. She let the boys have their little conversation all while letting her mind wander to random thoughts.

"I wonder if Batman brings his special someone a field mouse on Valentine's Day.. or maybe a nice selection of flying insects?"

The room went silent. Lacey frowned and looked up, her cheeks turning a slight pink. Clark was grinning at her while Bruce looked skeptical and amused at the same time. Lacey's hand went to her forehead and she groaned. "I said that out loud, didn't I."

Bruce chuckled. "You have an interest in Batman?"

Lacey shrugged and tried to pretend she had some dignity left. "He's like Superman, only not. What do _you_ think of him, Mr. Wayne?"

Bruce noticed both Clark and the secretary, who he had yet to get a name from, watching him with interest. The flighty rich boy act was needed. "Someone dressed as a bat clearly has issues."

Lacey nearly died. He said the line! But instead of dying, she did the only thing she could truly do. "Well, duh." She was going to go on a tangent. The look in Clark's eyes told her that he knew her tone of voice well. "He's dressed as a frigging bat."

Lacey started pacing as she spoke. "I'm not saying the whole freaky bat thing doesn't work, because it does. I'm just saying that a bat isn't that scary. Now Darkwing Duck? That's scary."

Both men stared at her as if she were crazy. Though they were strangers, they exchanged a look of understanding.

Bruce spoke slowly. "You think Darkwing Duck is scary." It wasn't a question.

"Hello? He's a duck in a blazer, cape, mask and fedora.." She left a dramatic pause. "..with no pants." Lacey placed her hands on her hips. "See? No. Pants. Do you see what I'm getting at? If Batman really wanted to scare people, he'd run around with a mask and no pants. Of course that could just give him an entirely new and creepier fan base."

They stared at her with their mouths slightly ajar, and Lacey could only smile sweetly. "What do you think, Mr. Wayne?"

He never had a chance to answer, as Perry finally showed up. Lacey was unceremoniously sent out of the office, but she had more than made up for her fangirl weaknesses from earlier.

It was going to be a great day.


	5. Five

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

_**Five**_

Lacey was confused as she stared at the object on her desk. Where did it come from? She picked it up and stared at it carefully. It wasn't that she didn't like it. Far from it. She loved it. But why was it there?

"Where did you get that?"

Lacey looked up to see Lois. She shrugged. "I don't know. It was just sitting here. Did you see-"

"Considering I've been in Perry's office all morning? I haven't seen anything." Lois said with a shrug of her own. "What are you going to do with it?"

Lacey turned the item upside down. "I don't know. Keep it of course. It's neat. But the mystery of it is going to kill me." For at least five minutes.

Lois grinned. "I hope not. You promised to watch Jason for us on Saturday night."

"You people only love me for my free babysitting skills." Lacey pouted as Lois walked away with a laugh. She shook her head and set the mystery gift to the side as she got back to work. She had some things to type up. Meanwhile, the little stuffed penguin just stared silently at her from its spot on the desk.

* * *

Ah, lunch. Lacey was tempted to go out for it, but she decided to head for the roof with her prize and a bag of M&Ms instead. Now _that _was lunch. Or a sugar addiction. Both worked for her. She must have been really bored, because she was humming while having the plush penguin hop along the edge of the building. 

"Sesame Street?" Naturally, that would be when _he'd_ show up. She'd wondered where Clark had disappeared to earlier.

She turned around; fighting the slight hint of a blush she knew was threatening her. Yeah, so she had the Sesame Street song in her head. She also had the Rubber Ducky song in there too. Still, she hated it when she was caught by surprise like that. "It's a perfectly good show. Very educational. Although you have to question the real truth behind Bert and Ernie's living arrangement. Really."

Superman grinned at her. "Why am I not surprised that you question relationships on a kid's show?"

"Because you said so yourself. I'm a very strange woman." She frowned and stared at him, but she didn't say anything else.

His arms folded across his chest and he gave her a look of silent question.

There was plenty of staring. Who would break first?

Superman sighed. "What are you staring at?"

Lacey for the win! Lacey gleefully clutched her toy in one hand and walked over to him. She reached up and tapped that damn curl in his hair. "I knew it! You use gel! You are sooo vain."

He lightly swatted her hand away with a laugh. "What is your fascination with my hair?"

"It's just.. Come on. Perfect hair. I'm jealous." Lacey pouted. "You get all the good perks."

"Not all of the perks are good." He said. There was a far away look in his eyes for a brief moment.

That made Lacey sigh inwardly. Ok, she wasn't going to have that. She held up the penguin. "Take him."

Superman stared at her in confusion. "What?"

"Take the penguin." Lacey demanded with a serious expression. "Give him a squeeze. You'll feel better."

What? Superman instinctively took a step back. "I'm not squeezing the penguin."

"Why not?" Lacey looked at him and then looked at the penguin. She held the plushie up toward his face. "He's cute and squeezable. It makes things better."

"Exactly how does-" Superman shook his head and turned his gaze toward the sky. "How do I get into these discussions with you?"

Lacey grinned. He sounded exasperated with her, but she saw the laughter in his eyes. "Because my randomness is contagious. It's like a virus only less gross and a lot more fun." When he chuckled, she decided to breeze on to another topic. "So why are you blessing my company with your presence? Shouldn't you be putting a cork in a volcano or something?"

"That's scheduled for this evening." Superman replied dryly.

"Try not to stay out too late." Lacey ordered as she walked past him. "You'll miss tonight's episode of Supernatural."

He watched her head for the door and shook his head. "We couldn't have that, now could we."

"Of course not. The Winchesters are hot Kansas boys. The mid-west knows how to pump out the fictional eye candy." Lacey had her hand on the door when she turned to him with a curious look. "Cupcakes or cookies?"

Superman was caught off guard by the random question. He really shouldn't have been. "Cupcakes. Why?"

She grinned at him and shook the penguin in the air as she opened the door. "Because I have to thank my friend Clark for my new buddy here."

The superhero blinked in surprise as she disappeared back into the building. Oh, she was good.

He was just going to prove he was better; Superman thought with a chuckle and lifted himself back into the air.


	6. Six

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

_**Six**_

It was March now and it was already driving her batty. _Why_ was she here? Why? She just couldn't fathom the reason for it at all. Lacey stopped staring at the scenery beyond the car window and turned to Clark, who was in the driver's seat of their rental car. "How did I get wrangled into this?"

Clark kept his eyes on the road with a small smirk. "I asked you."

"No, I remember _that_ part." Lacey rolled her eyes. "What I want to know is what possessed me to say yes."

"Only you know the answer to that."

Lacey gave him a shifty look. "If I knew, I wouldn't be asking." She leaned back in her seat and groaned. "I'm going to regret this. I know I will. You know, I swore to myself I wasn't ever going back to one of these places."

Clark grinned. "And yet, here you are." He pulled the car into a long driveway. "So, why did you?"

"There was this field trip back in third grade. Let's just say it involved something big, angry, and of the very hairy variety that wasn't my gym teacher." Lacey shrugged. "It kind of soured my whole outlook on it all."

Clark parked the car and turned it off before giving her a strange look. "One bad experience doesn't mean they'll all be like that."

Lacey opened her car door and got out of the car with a stretch. "Oh yeah? You haven't seen my dating track record." She shut the door without waiting for a reply and stared at the scene before her.

One Farmhouse? Check. Barn? Check. One dog barking? Another check. She glanced at Clark who was now leaning on the other side of the car and watching her reaction. "So, this is it?"

"This is it." He smiled. "Welcome to Smallville."

* * *

After settling in and taking a quick inventory of what was in the kitchen, Clark went looking for his slightly unwilling travel companion. He found her in his old bedroom, where she was staring at the star covered ceiling with a tiny smile. He leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms across his chest as he watched her. For someone who liked to complain about it now, she'd agreed to come without a fight. 

When his mom had mentioned the possibility of moving to Montana with Ben Hubbard after they got married, it was a slight blow to Clark. It was the first of many changes upon his homecoming. Now here he was, for what could be the last time. It hurt just thinking about it. Too many changes in what was too short of time for him.

"What's with that?" The sound of Lacey's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. She was staring at the stars and pointing. "The red star right there."

Clark looked up. "It represents the red sun of Krypton."

Lacey nodded. "Oh. Makes sense." She turned to him and toyed with the cuffs of her purple sweater. "So, do I get to meet your mom? Because if I'm going to be stranded in Smallville and forced to have flashbacks of my own home town, only with less farm stuff, I want to at least have one memorable moment."

"She'll be back later." Clark smiled warily at her. He was almost afraid to ask why meeting his mom would be memorable. Almost was the operative word. "How exactly do you expect it to be memorable?"

Lacey threw herself onto his bed and turned onto her back so she could see the stars again. Clark arched an eyebrow at her, but soon enough, he found himself joining her.

She briefly glanced at him as he lay down next to her on the bed. "Because she raised you. That's obviously some impressive work the woman's done. It should be acknowledged. I really hope you don't skimp on Mother's Day."

Clark chuckled. "Of course not-"

"And you know, you owe her big time this year. It's what, five years worth of presents to give? Mother's Day, birthdays, Christmas, Halloween--"

It was his turn to interrupt her. "Halloween?" Clark turned over onto his side and propped his head onto his hand. "When did Halloween become a gift giving holiday?"

"Must have been just my family then. Nothing says love like someone leaving a fake heart on your desk on Halloween morning."

Clark groaned. "Heart? Love? That was pretty bad."

Lacey elbowed him lightly. "Please. I could do _so_ much worse. I have a million cow puns just waiting to be used while I'm here."

"Please don't. I'd like to have some mental functions left by the time we head back."

"That would require you to actually have some in the first place." Lacey snorted. On one hand it wasn't fair that Clark could be snarkyish to her, on the other, she absolutely loved the fact that he was. It meant no brooding. "That would be utterly ridiculous."

Clark could only stare at her. "Staring already?"

Lacey moved to face him with an innocent smile. "I have to milk it for all it's worth."

"You're trying to make me regret inviting you, aren't you." Clark said in an exasperated tone.

"You mean you don't already?" Lacey asked sweetly before sitting back up. She poked him lightly in the arm and then she did the unthinkable.

Clark's eyes widened when he found his glasses snatched off his face. Before he realized what she'd done, she was already at the door with a triumphant grin.

"Finders keepers!" She cackled at him before darting down the hallway.

Of course, stealing from the guy who moonlighted as Superman really wasn't a smooth move. Lacey knew this, but it didn't stop her. But she found out first hand when she reached the bottom of the stairs. An arm wrapped around her waist and lifted her off the floor, causing her to shriek in surprise.

"CHEATER!" Lacey cried out and tried to break free of Clark's grip. Naturally, that wasn't happening. She soon found herself facing him and she glowered. "I called no powers!"

Clark grinned and easily took his glasses back from her, but he didn't let her go. "That's funny, I don't remember hearing that."

"It was _implied_." Lacey pouted.

"Last I checked, mind reading wasn't one of my abilities." He said dryly. She continued to pout even as she attempted a grab for his glasses. Clark held them just out of reach with a smirk. "Will you stop that?"

"No. I need something to do and annoying you is a great way to start the weekend." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Now be a good boy and take it like a man." Lacey made another grab for the glasses, but he was now holding them above his head. She growled at him. "Damn it!" Reach. "Stop." Stretch. "Being." Grab. "So.." Miss. "Damn." Missed again. "TAL-Mmph!"

She _should_ have expected it this time. But yet again, her buddy had to do the stupidest thing to distract her.

And hey, a kiss was a good way to do it. If she weren't so distracted, Lacey would have been thinking of a way to retaliate. But his maneuver worked so well that when he pulled away, her eyes were still wide with astonishment.

Clark smirked at her as she merely blinked. She was like a deer caught in headlights.. Up until she thwacked him on the chest. He didn't even pretend to wince as he grinned at her.

Lacey's eyes narrowed. "_That_ was definitely cheating, blue eyes. I'm calling foul play."

"I think you're just jealous of my ability to render you speechless."

Her jaw dropped at his smug smile. Lacey wondered if this smug bravado of his was her doing, and for a second or two she felt a bit of pride at the possibility. But then she remembered that he was using it against _her_. That just wouldn't do. "I'm awfully close to risking injury to myself in an attempt to beat you up."

Clark laughed and with a move to surprise her yet again, placed his glasses on her face. They slid down her nose and he pushed them back up with a smirk. "We can't have that, now can we. With my luck, you'd send me the medical bills."

"Damn right I would. You'd also get my therapy bills." Yet again, the glasses slid down the bridge of her nose.

Clark pushed them right back up again. "Why would I be getting your therapy bills?"

"For the mental anguish and emotional trauma you've put me through. Really, Clark, you give me an inferiority complex that can only be repaired by devouring mass amounts of sugar." It took Lacey a moment to realize how close they were again. Clark was smirking at her and she wanted to smack him upside the head.

"An inferiority complex? You?" Clark found that hard to believe. "That's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible, Clark. You, of all people, should know that." She said with a slight roll of her eyes and an amused tone. Lacey's borrowed lenses once more slid down. She sighed and was about to push them back up, when Clark beat her to it again. He was staring at her again. It wasn't the same stare they exchanged when they were bantering. It was the kind that made her question what was going on inside that head of his. Instead of musing on it, she tried to finish her comment. "Things are just," Huh. He was leaning down. That.. "improbable…"

Her eyes closed when he kissed her this time. If it was one thing Clark Kent was getting good at, it was confusing the hell out of her. She couldn't peg him anymore. Maybe she never could. Not that it really mattered, because at the moment, she was busy wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer. Coherent thought barely existed. Not that it ever existed in Lacey's mind _before_.

Timing. Bad. Good. Either way, that _would_ be the way Martha Kent found them. The older woman walked inside of her home and her eyes widened in shock, but it only lasted a moment before she chuckled.

Of course, the sound brought the pair back to reality. They nearly jumped apart and Lacey removed Clark's glasses and practically shoved them into his hand. Then she put at least five feet between them and tried not to run and hide. Maybe she could find a cow to eat her.

"Mom!" Clark exclaimed. Nice job. He hadn't been paying attention at all. "Hi. How are you?"

Martha was enjoying the pair's flustered and nervous state and she didn't bother to hide it as she embraced her son. "I'm fine. I'd ask how you were, but I think you're doing rather well." She smiled more at the blush on her boy's face.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Uh.. Yeah.." Clark glanced at Lacey and noticed the distance she'd put between them. He found he didn't like that much and immediately bridged the gap and grabbed her hand. He led her over to his mother, despite the fact that Lacey refused to look anyone in the eye. "This is Lacey Voorhees. I told you about her. Lacey, this is my mom, Martha Kent."

Lacey's attention was snared. Clark told his mom about her? _Oh dear god, what did he tell her? _ Not once in her life had she ever been in a situation like this one. She had prided herself on never getting involved in one like it. Now here she was, all thanks to Clark Kent.

He would pay dearly.

She tried to compose herself and forced herself to look at Mrs. Kent. She found the woman giving her a genuine and very amused smile. Lacey managed a nervous smile back. "Um.. Hi. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Kent." That was simple. Now she just had to- "And now I think I'm going to into your barn and die of embarrassment." --keep her mouth shut. She groaned and covered her face with her free hand. "Or right here will do just fine."

Martha burst out laughing and Lacey found herself being hugged by the woman. Her eyes were as wide as they could be and she felt Clark give her hand a gentle squeeze.

Jesus fuck, the entire Kent family knew how to confuse her.


	7. Seven

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

_**Seven**_

Sometimes there are certain situations in life that can throw a person for a loop. Situations that cause one to have an epiphany. Working in the newsroom of the Daily Planet, there were at least four people who have each had their own at some point.

But only one was currently dwelling over it. Of course, seeing as she wasn't in the newsroom working, it made it a lot easier to be sidetracked by her thoughts. Lacey was actually doing the unthinkable.

She was playing with the plush Easter Bunny toys at Wal-Mart. Oh, but she wasn't alone. She was sitting on the floor of the aisle with two random kids and the three of them were having bunny races. Oh yes, the local employees were _real_ pleased with them. So maybe she wasn't completely dwelling on her problems. Not when there were toys to play with.

"So then George is going to go and save the world as Superbunny." Explained the little girl, who Lacey had dubbed Rose.

The little boy with her, who Lacey had decided to refer to as Mickey, stuck his tongue out. "Superbunny? That is so lame. I'd rather have Batbunny."

The pair exchanged childish insults before they turned to Lacey, or as they called her, 'Tak'. "What's your bunny?"

Lacey had been picturing Superman and Batman as rabbits and she was enjoying the mental image plenty when their question brought her back to reality. "My bunny?" She brought her bunny closer to her face and scrutinized it. "I think.. Hmm.. I think my bunny is Sailor Moon."

"Sailor Moon is a wimp." Mickey announced with a disgusted look. "Batman could totally beat her."

"Oh yeah? Superman can beat them all!" Rose said and smacked Mickey upside the head with her toy.

Before a full-fledged bunny beat down could begin, their mother quickly swooped in to claim the kids, apologized to Lacey, and was already in another aisle while protesting loudly at the kids' shenanigans.

It was so fast that Lacey was pretty sure she had mental whiplash. She shook her head and got off the floor, still clutching the bunny. "That was entertaining."

It had also managed to distract her for about five minutes. Unfortunately, her dwelling thought process was returning. As she absently looked at more of the Easter items on sale, she thought about her situation.

Ever since their little trip to Smallville, things were just a _little _bit awkward between her and Clark. Of course, he didn't seem to notice, but maybe it was because Lacey was doing her best to hide it. Maybe it was a big fat case of denial. Maybe that was just the way things were with them. Meh. She was probably overanalyzing things. In fact, she _knew_ she was. She was falling into her own little trap and it was bugging the hell out of her.

No, that wasn't it. Honesty. That's what it was. Clark was her friend under false pretenses. She knew about him, but he didn't know about her. That was the core of the matter. Not the bantering, the possible flirting, the kisses, no. It was all about that one stupid thing that brought her here in the first place.

"Fuck." Lacey muttered and clutched the bunny tighter. She knew what she was going to do.

* * *

Clark had been fixing himself a cup of coffee when there was a knock on his apartment door. Feeling curious about who would come by, he headed for the living room, sneaking a peek through the front door with his x-ray vision. He was pleasantly surprised at who was there. Clark adjusted his glasses on habit as he opened the door. "Hey. How did you get up here? You didn't buzz." 

Lacey smirked at him and breezed on inside without an invitation, a shopping bag swinging in her hand. "I slipped in with this guy carrying some really seedy looking lawn chairs. I'm positive they were evil and plotting world domination. The chairs, not the guy. Anyway, it saved me the trouble of spending a whole two seconds of buzzer pressing. Go me and my lazy ass." Once she reached the coffee table, she spun around. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Clark closed the door and smiled at her. "No, I was just fixing some coffee. But even if I were doing something, that probably wouldn't stop you."

"Of course not." Lacey settled onto his couch without a care. "I'd just tell you to stop whatever it is you're doing and convince you to give me your undivided attention."

"Just how would you do that?"

She reached into her bag and pulled out an all too cute stuffed rabbit. Lacey shook it in his direction. "By using the Bunny of DOOM. Look at her face. How can you resist it? She has perfect bunny ears and a perfect bunny nose." She placed it on the top of the sofa and pat the bunny on the head. "I've dubbed her Vancouver."

Clark shook his head as he headed for the kitchen again. He poured a couple of cups of coffee and brought them back to the living room, where he offered one to Lacey before he sat down next to her. He didn't need to ask and she didn't need to say thank you. It was just the way they were. "Why Vancouver?"

"Because it sounds good with Horatio." Lacey said with a grin. At Clark's blank look, she took the time to sip her coffee before explaining. "The penguin. His name is Horatio. Horatio and Vancouver. He's a penguin that works as a phone psychic and moonlights as a lion tamer. She's a bunny that races cars in a Mach 5 replica while trying to escape her seedy past as an exotic hula dancer in Alaska. Together, they fight crime."

Clark let out a laugh and shook his head again. "How much sugar have you had today?"

"Not nearly enough." Lacey mumbled, forgetting for a moment that Clark would catch that. She set her mug down on the coffee table and turned serious. "We're friends, right?"

His amusement had waned as soon as he'd heard her mumbling. Whatever was going on obviously had her worried. If he were being honest, it was starting to worry him too. She was watching him now, as if trying to read him. "Of course." He was honest. They were friends. He trusted her.

Lacey chewed on her lower lip while staring into those damn blue eyes of his. She took a breath. "Ok. So I never told you how I know.. _Things_. Well, I've decided that I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you everything. And you have to save any calls to the local asylum until after I'm done, got it?" Without waiting for him to reply, she said something he did not expect.

"I'm from another reality. One where you're fiction. A movie character. Comic book character. Tv show. Fiction." Lacey watched him and took note of his wide eyes. Clark opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand and cut him off. "And this isn't the first time it's happened to me. The first time, I was stranded in Middle Earth. The movieverse, not books. Then it was a reality with Harry Potter and Buffy combined. Then Supernatural. All are fiction where I'm from."

To say he was surprised was an understatement. He wondered if she was playing a joke on him, but her expression, her tone, body language, it all showed him how serious she was taking this confession of hers. Either she was crazy and believed what she was saying, or she was telling the truth. Clark was leaning toward the latter.

"How did this happen?" He asked. It was just a starter question, but it had to be simple enough to answer.

"I don't know." Lacey sighed. "I mean.. in Middle Earth, I was there to stop these two meddlers, what are known as Mary-Sues, from screwing with reality. I did. I was there all the way to the end of the second movie. After Helm's Deep, I woke back up in my living room."

He set his coffee down on the table. "How did you know it wasn't a dream?"

"Because when I woke up, I had a ring that Galadriel gave me." Lacey glanced at her hand where it used to be. "The second time, one of those Mary-Sues had survived Middle Earth and was claiming to be a goddess or some bullshit. She was killing people, kidnapping them, ladeda, tried to reshape reality into her own twisted version of perfection. I was dragged in to be her foil by some chicks that _also _claimed to be goddesses. It was a whole screwy thing. Good versus evil, cracked crossover style. I got thrown around by a soulless vampire, nearly got munched on by him too, and had a rerun of my time with Sue before. And when I woke up? I had a Hogwarts robe and a stake."

Clark was finding this almost unbelievable, but he sat and listened. It was actually kind of entertaining. "And Supernatural?" At least that might explain her slightly warped obsession with the tv show.

"That was the most recent.. It was.." Lacey grew a little withdrawn. "Was right before I woke up in Perry's office. It was different than the others. I ended up road tripping with them. The Winchesters were.. They just were. And I don't.. I don't really want to get into the details of that one." She took another deep breath. Some things she still wanted to keep to herself, if only so she didn't have to think about them. "I was still able to contact my family when I was with them. I had access to my accounts, everything. I wasn't as cut off like I was the other times. But when everything was said and done, I thought I was going to wake up in my house with like a shotgun or, with some hope, an Impala." Or a Winchester, she mentally added. Who wouldn't want a Winchester?

Clark frowned at her, his eyes filled with concern. He wasn't going to pressure her to explain what she didn't want to, so he moved on. "Did you?"

"I woke up at my desk in the Planet." Lacey said and leaned back. She closed her eyes as she rested her head on the couch. "The difference this time is that I've had no signs of what I may be here for and that I had an entire identity ready made for me upon waking. I don't know why. I don't know how. All I know is that I've been someone's plaything for the past few years and frankly, I'm sick of it."

She went silent and Clark didn't know how to respond. He just stared at her as she sat there.

"Can you reach your family here?" Clark asked hesitantly. He was sure she couldn't go see them, not after what he found out around Christmas, but maybe--

"No." Lacey cut his thoughts off. "I tried everything. My phone numbers all led to dead ends. I'm effectively stranded and cut off from them." She opened her eyes and they were filled with acceptance. "And with all honesty? I don't think I'm going to find a way back."

"You can't give up hope like that," Clark started to say. His first instinct was to reassure her that she'd go back, but his second and more selfish reaction was to hope she didn't. It was very unlike him. "If you-"

"I'm not giving up hope." Lacey shook her head and sat back up. "I'm accepting it. If I get back? Ok, keen. If not, then well, I'm not going to spend my time following false leads or thinking what if. I did that the first two months I was here. It got me nowhere and I ended up wangsting about like some drama llama emo kid. So I said screw it. If I'm going to be here, then I'll live my life the way I did back home. By annoying the hell out of everyone around me and living in denial. It's how I show I care. Or that I dislike people. Works either way."

At Clark's questionable look, Lacey smiled. "The only problem was that I ended up actually getting along with everyone's favorite little boy. That led to me actually getting along with Lois. And then…" She trailed off with a shrug.

Then what? She couldn't just leave it off at that. Clark had to ask. "Then what?"

"Then you came back to the world." Lacey grinned mischievously. "I decided that you were going to be my new target. Hence the-"

"Hints and the teasing." Clark finished for her. He sighed. "Why am I not at all surprised?"

"Because you know me pretty well by now." Lacey reminded him and gave him a slight nudge. "But back then.. You were getting a little emo."

"I was what?" Clark couldn't contain the confusion.

"After you came out of the hospital." She paused and stared at him carefully. "You were.. You looked a little lost. I get why, but I decided that someone needed to keep you from angst valley. So I dubbed it my unofficial mission. I mean, I could have tried manipulating Cat into doing it, but somehow that would have given me mental images I never ever want."

It wasn't the 'mission' that got his attention. It wasn't even the mention of Cat and mental images. It was the fact that she said she understood _why_. Clark wondered if she knew about Jason. It was something he hadn't told her, but if he were fiction where she was from.. "You know about.." He trailed off, hoping she'd finish.

She did. "Jason?" Lacey nodded and picked the bunny back up. Hop, bunny, hop. "I know. But like I said before, doesn't mean I'll say anything." She flashed him a worried look. "You know I wouldn't. Right? I mean, I know I'm not the greatest person in the world, but I'd never say a word about--"

"I know. I trust you." Clark smiled at her. And he did. He had questions. Heck, he had plenty of them; it was the reporter in him. But like she did on New Year's for him, he could do the same.

He'd accept it. After all, it didn't change a thing. It gave him new insight to her, but she was still-- Clark's thoughts froze as Lacey stood up and headed for the door. "What are you doing?"

Lacey shrugged. "I figured since I did what I came here to do, I'd go home. Let you process and decide if I'm loopy or just a pathological liar."

"You don't have to do that." Clark insisted. He stood up and repeated out loud what he had been thinking moments before. "It doesn't change anything."

"Actually, it does." Lacey said. "I _know _things. Not just about you, but others. When I say I'm not going to share everything, I mean about others too. I'm one big secret keeper for everyone. Maybe I could get a codename or something.. Are there even any good codenames left in the cosmos?"

"Does this mean you know what's going to happen?" Clark found himself asking. That's right, he was ignoring her ramble about codenames.

She laughed. "Oh, _hell _ no! I'm not vision girl or something. I stopped knowing what would happen after your hospital stay. And before you ask why I didn't say anything about things to come then, would you really have believed a cranky bitter woman that you didn't know?"

Clark thought about that and couldn't help but grin. "I don't know if I'd use the word cranky."

"I was going to say bitchy, but I thought I'd be nice to myself." Lacey rolled her eyes with a smirk and opened the door. She felt a hand on her arm and she looked over at Clark, who was now standing next to her. She arched an eyebrow and posed a silent question.

"Let me get this straight," Clark spoke slowly and cautiously. "You have no idea what may or may not happen now."

Lacey really hoped he wasn't going to start fishing for information. If anyone was going to do stuff like that, it was going to be her. "Just color me clueless." The smile on Clark's face set off her warning alarms. "Why?"

"That means we're on even footing." Clark was confident about that.

"HA!" Lacey punched him lightly on the arm. "You wish. I always have the upper hand. People just don't like to acknowledge it." Denial? Hell yes. Lacey was cloaked in a shroud of the stuff.

"I beg to differ." Clark argued. "If I wanted the upper hand, I could get it."

Lacey wasn't having any of it this time. He was getting all the winning hands way too easily lately. It had to be stopped. She knew it. He knew it, though he wouldn't admit it. The cosmos knew it. No no no. Lacey wanted to have all the cards and she was going to get them.

She narrowed her eyes at him and poked him lightly on the chest. "Not this time, blue." Of course, she had to think fast. How could she one up him? He was the one wh.. Well, she could, but then that would..

"Fuck it." Lacey muttered. She threw out her lingering doubts, wrapped her arms around Clark's neck, and pulled him down for a kiss.

Clark only had a second to comprehend the fact that she was the one to instigate it this time, because before he realized it, he was once again standing alone in his living room. The door shut firmly behind Lacey as she left him dumbfounded.

He couldn't help but chuckle. She'd won for the moment. But tomor-

Why did he have a plush bunny on his head?


	8. Eight

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

_**Eight**_

It was a dance they played. They never actually talked to each other about it. The 'moments' just happened when they happened. There was no dating. Just hanging out. Bantering. Mocking. They just were what they were. Of course if anyone asked, and Cat Grant had asked plenty, they'd both claim that they were "Just friends." Technically, Clark would blush and stammer it. Lacey would glare and add a few choice phrases of unrepeatable nature, as that was just _her_ way.

So when Lori Lemaris showed up one day to visit her college boyfriend, Clark, Lacey's mental vocabulary grew substantially. At that very moment, she was silently protesting the woman's existence with her lunch.

"Do you like that?" Jason asked as he ate his own lunch. The two were sitting in Richard's office. Richard was dealing with a work crisis, Lois was on tv to cover some press conference, and Jason had the day off from school due to some mysterious fire. That left Lacey on emergency nanny duty. Not that she minded.

Lacey glanced at the sushi she was eating. "Sometimes." That was half true. She could take it or leave it. It was the first thing she could think of to eat out of spite. "Are you having any problems with your lunch?"

Jason beamed at her. A lot of his allergies had faded the past few months and he was getting to enjoy a wider range of food now. "No. I like egg rolls. They're good."

"Aren't they? My mom used to make these really good ones that had everything in them." Lacey smiled wistfully. "I tried making them a couple months ago, but they ended up more like hockey pucks." She had a much better description of that disaster, but it involved words that young Jason shouldn't hear.

"You should take cooking lessons." Jason suggested. "Mom takes them sometimes."

Lois took cooking lessons? Lacey was shocked. If she kept finding out these things about Lois, Lois was going to end up her new idol.

That just wouldn't do. Lacey needed to reclaim her hero worship of Miss Parker and Emma Frost. Oh, if only she were a telepath. She'd love to go Frost-like and just bitch slap certain people wit--

"There's mom!" Jason exclaimed and pointed to the tv screen in the corner of the office. Sure enough, there she was, asking a hard-hitting question to some government official. Lacey wasn't really paying attention.

His mother on the screen enthralled Jason and Lacey had to smile. She had a feeling the kid was going to follow all of his parents' footsteps. By that time, hopefully he'd have a hair cut and learn that underwear belonged on the inside of clothes, not the outside.

Richard reappeared in the office and Lacey quickly took her leave after a ruffle of Jason's hair and a few bits of conversation with Richard. She soon found herself back at her desk and bored out of her mind.

She looked up from her desk in time to see Clark appear in the newsroom with Lori and Lacey wondered if she smelled fish that hadn't been in her lunch. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Lori turned to look at her.

_Fuck. Telepath. Close thoughts. Block them off. Build that wall._ Lacey focused the same way she had on Middle Earth. She wasn't sure if it would work, or even if it was actually necessary, but she wasn't taking any chances. Lori gave her a confused look and her brow crinkled. Then she glanced at Clark, who was listening to Jimmy, then back to Lacey.

Lacey leaned onto her desk and watched them warily. This was not happening. She did not need this. Really not.. God, did that damn walking fish stick have to be all handsy on Clark? This--

Oh.

Dear.

God.

Lacey was jealous. The moment she realized it, she knew it was true. So she did the logical thing. She started banging her head on her desktop.

Perry stuck his head out of his office and didn't even take a second glance at Lacey. "Lacey, did Spencer get that-"

"He said he'd bring it by at one-thirty." Lacey replied without stopping. She was hoping if she hit herself enough that common sense would finally return.

"Good, good." Perry paused in the doorway. "Do I smell fish?"

Lacey froze. She looked up in time to see Perry returning to his office and Lacey burst into a fit of giggles, garnering her a few stares from the employees that had never heard her giggle before. Still giggling, she sank down in her chair, taking notice of the inquisitive look from Clark and the slightly annoyed but wide-eyed expression of the other double L.

She.. She needed to get out of there. Lacey jumped up from her seat and rushed over to Perry's door. "Mr. White, I-"

"Go. Be back this evening." Perry shooed her away.

How the hell did he do that? Lacey was baffled, but didn't vocalize her question. She just grabbed her tote bag and headed out. She gave Clark and the others a polite wave and a smile, but didn't stop.

Oh no. She needed something far more important to help her cognitive process. She needed ice cream.

* * *

Lacey was sitting in her favorite ice cream place, Frozen Delights, and happily devouring a bowl of strawberry cheesecake ice cream when Clark found her. Her eyes were closed and she looked rather content. So content that Clark wasn't sure if he should interrupt her. 

The choice was taken from him when she opened one eye. "Why are you hovering over me?" The spoon was still in her mouth, so it sounded a little garbled, but Clark understood.

"Deciding if I should just leave you alone or not." Clark replied and sat down. Oh, but not across from her, he sat down next to her.

Lacey scooted over in the booth to oblige him some space, only to be thanked by seeing him take the extra spoon on the table and stealing some of her ice cream. She smacked him on the arm and glared. "Ice cream thief. I'm so telling your mom."

Clark grinned at her. "You wouldn't."

"You think so?"

"I know you wouldn't. I may have to mention someone's foray into st-"

Lacey shoved him. "That was a one time thing! And that wasn't my fault. Gina was the one who dr.. No. I'm not going to explain myself. What I want to know is how _you_ found out about that." When Clark just continued to grin silently while stealing her ice cream, Lacey scowled at him. "I really hate you."

He set his spoon down, but his grin didn't falter. "You do not."

"I do." Lacey scowled some more and pointed to her scowling face. "See this? This is my mad on grr I think I'm going to push you into traffic face."

"See? You don't hate me."

"What part did you not hear?"

"You said that you _think_ you're going to push me. Not that you were." Clark pointed out. He continued to grin, knowing full well it was antagonizing her. "In other words, you don't hate me."

Lacey's mouth opened. It shut. It opened again. Shut. Clark knew he'd won this even as she stabbed the ice cream with her spoon.

"I think I liked you better when you were stammering and clumsy." She muttered.

"You have no one to blame but yourself." Clark informed her.

Lacey sighed. He was right and she wanted to smack him for it. Instead, she settled for eating some more ice cream.

"So why did you run off? I wanted to introduce you to Lori." Clark asked her casually.

Oh look. There's the jealousy flaring up again. Lacey wanted to smack herself now. "I know about her." She said with a shrug, though she put an emphasis on the word 'know'. She wasn't about to admit to being jealous, but she could at least be partially honest.

Clark frowned and then realization bled into his mind. "That means you know-"

"That she can read minds and swim really well? Yup." Lacey didn't look at him but kept her eyes on the ice cream. "I really don't need anyone reading me, accidental or not. Not with the stuff I know." And definitely not with the stuff she was thinking. "So how long is she in town for?"

"Just the day." Clark frowned when he looked over at her. Lacey seemed rather aloof now and he didn't like it when it was just the two of them. "She and her husband were just picking some things up and she wanted to see how I was doing."

Well, that was slightly brightening, but Lacey wasn't about to show it. Instead, she set her spoon down and stared up at him. "Nice. So, answer me honestly. What is up with you and the double Ls?"

Clark blinked. "The what?"

"Ahem." She started listing names and ticking them off her fingers. "Lana Lang. Lori Lemaris. Lois Lane. All love interests with double L initials. I'm half expecting you to suddenly announce you want to date Lex L-"

"Don't finish that sentence." Clark stopped her. "That situation will never happen." He grinned at her again. "I like to think I'd have better taste than that."

Damn it. That grin of his made her go weak. When did that happen? When did it go from fun and questionable to jealousy, weak knees and that light headed-

Oh.

Fuck.

The newest realization hit Lacey like a ton of adamantium bricks.

Clark wasn't completely oblivious to the inner workings of Lacey's mind. He knew she wasn't all there at the moment, but he didn't know what had her so distracted. He looked at her with concern. "Are you ok?"

_No, I'm not. _"Huh? Yeah. I'm fine. Just zoning." Liar.

No, Clark. Lacey wasn't ok. She'd just realized she had somehow fallen for you. She also realized that she was completely screwed.

That wasn't very ok at all.


	9. Nine

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

* * *

_**Nine**_

She stared at the calendar with a distasteful frown. She had one week left until doomsday. DOOM.

"So what are you going to do?"

Lacey glared at the calendar one last time before she responded to Gina. Her neighbor and, surprisingly, her best female friend in this world was lounging on Lacey's couch and idly flipping through Lacey's mail. "I'm thinking about stringing myself up as a piñata and letting the kids in the building hit me with an aluminum bat."

Gina's blue eyes rolled toward the ceiling. "That sounds like so much fun. Why don't you get a root canal while you're at it?"

"I would, but I'm on a budget." Lacey stuck her tongue out at Gina and flopped into an armchair. She set her feet on the top of her coffee table with a shrug. "Seriously though? I'm not doing a thing. Denial denial."

"I say you should just let me take you clubbing. We'll get you hooked up with some cute guy. Or hey, there's a new doctor on my floor. He's cute. He'd make a great p-" Gina stopped and stared at an expensive looking envelope. "Hey, something not a bill."

Lacey quirked an eyebrow as Gina tossed the envelope to her. Her eyes widened as she opened it carefully.

It was an invitation to the Lane-White wedding.

Oh dear.

"Why so pale?" Gina asked and sat up. "Looked like a wedding invite. Don't tell me you have some kind of phobia against weddings."

Lacey shook her head. "Huh? No. It's just an invite to Lois's wedding."

Gina did the math. Lacey had filled her in on some of the basics about the people at the Daily Planet. "And you're worried about your 'friend' Clark."

She hated the way Gina said that. It made Lacey regret ever confiding in her about her friendship with Clark. Gina didn't mean anything by it, but she was of the mind that Lacey should just grab the guy while the grabbing was good. Lacey disagreed. Vehemently. She felt guilty enough just for being friends with him. The continuity of this world was all screwed up and Lacey was positive it was her fault. "Why shouldn't I be? The guy was pining over her for years. I think he still is. An actual set date for a wedding could be traumatic."

"You're overreacting."

Lacey gave her a withering stare. "How would you feel if the guy you were crazy about announced he was going to get married and sent you a invite?"

"I'd send the bride a nice gown.." Gina said thoughtfully. "..with a bull's-eye on it."

* * *

So maybe she was wrong. The next morning at work, Clark seemed perfectly.. Well.. Clark. The day was busy for almost everyone and so Lacey didn't get much of a chance to talk to Clark at all. 

Lacey yawned as she entered the elevator. It was already filled with people wanting to get home, but she worked her way into a corner in the back. Ahh.. Solitude. Corners were nice. Lacey allowed her mind to wander as she stood there.

Something jabbed into her side and a low voice whispered in her ear. "Don't move."

Well, crap. What a way to end the workday. Lacey sighed. She didn't need this. "What do you want?"

"I've seen you around."

"Your point is?"

"I'm bored." Gina grinned at her and got an elbow to the ribs from Lacey. "OW!"

Lacey glared at her and ignored the stares from the other elevator passengers. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Sheila wanted more hours before she heads out on maternity leave." Gina shrugged. "So what's going on in the world today?"

The elevator came to a stop and everyone filed out. "Lex Luthor is filing for some more appeals or something. Superman stopped some wildfires, Bruce Wayne is throwing a gala for some new business venture he's opening here in Metropolis, and Lana Lang the fashion designer has decided to let Cat Grant interview her. And I almost broke a nail when typing."

"That sounds great." Gina's tone said otherwise. "So what are you going to get the soon to be newlyweds?"

"I have no idea. I'm not good at shopping for others. I'm a horrible gift giver." Lacey scowled. "I mean, I _really_ suck."

"You can't be that bad."

"I once gave my friends dvds of V."

"Of what?"

"A really cool mini seri.." At Gina's blank look, Lacey sighed. She really wished she wasn't raised as such a fangirl. "Nevermind."

"Okaaaay." Gina linked her arm with Lacey's. "What do you say we go get drinks?"

"Gina, it's not even seven." Lacey argued. The last thing she wanted was a drink. "Can't you save this torture for next week?"

"What's next week?"

The women looked to see Clark standing in front of them with a cheerful and curious look on his face.

Gina smiled brightly at him. She'd met him a few times and thought he was the cutest thing since Mickey Mouse. If Lacey didn't make her move, she was going to lock them both in an elevator until she did. "Next week is--Mmphat!" She was cut off by Lacey's hand clamping over her mouth. Her eyes glinted dangerously at Lacey, even as Lacey gave her a death glare in return.

"It's nothing. I just want to postpone yet another social outing that requires me to get sloshed." Lacey explained. Oh yeah, they all knew she was lying, but what could one do? She gave another glare to Gina before removing her hand. A moment later she wished she hadn't.

"Are you going to Lois Lane's wedding?" Gina blurted out. She looked as innocent as she could be. Luckily for her she was as waify as a girl could get. She also knew that Lacey was going to shove her into traffic as soon as they hit the street.

Friendship was so special.

Clark was surprised, but he nodded. "Of course. Why do you ask?"

Gina shrugged. "Just curious. I saw the invite at Lacey's." She smiled at them both but turned to Lacey. "Since you refuse to come with me, I'm going to go. I'll call you later, ok?"

Lacey sighed and nodded. "Fine. Just don't wait until midnight."

"Oh please, it isn't as if you actually sleep. You'd be a vampire if you had your way." Gina teased her. "Nice seeing you again, Clark."

"You too." Clark smiled at her. He waved as Gina walked away. "Have a nice evening!"

Lacey rolled her eyes at him. "You are such a dork."

It was Clark's turn to sigh as his friend walked away. He followed her through the revolving doors and to the sidewalk. "Is everything alright with you?"

She stopped to give him a confused look. "Of course. Why would you ask that?"

"Maybe it's because I know you." Clark pointed out. "So what is it?"

Lacey adjusted the strap on her tote bag and shrugged. "Honestly? I was worried about _you_."

"Me?" Clark was surprised. Why would- Oh. Realization dawned on him. The wedding. He gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. I knew it was coming."

"Did you?" Lacey cautiously asked. "I mean, you two were, you know. And you've been-"

"I'm fine." He insisted. And he was. It wasn't the fact that it didn't hurt, but it wasn't something he was going to allow keep him down. He had a feeling that if he did, there'd be hell to pay.

"Good. Because if you were going to go all emo again, I was going to drop kick your ass back to Kansas."

See? Hell to pay. Clark smiled at her. "I'm fine." He repeated.

Lacey placed her hands on her hips. "Prove it."

"What?" Clark was taken aback. "You want me to prove it? How?"

She hadn't thought that far ahead. "I don't know. Just.. I don't want you freaking out or like, pretending that all is well when it isn't."

The look of concern she had for him made him want to smile. He had to admit that he kind of liked having her worry about him. "It _is_. Would you rather I be miserable?"

"What? No!" Lacey shook her head. "Of course not. I just want you to be cool with it all."

"I am." Clark patiently said.

Lacey was quiet. "Oh. Um.. Then me shutting up about it would be a very good move now."

Clark shook his head and gently took her by the arm. "Want to grab something to eat?"

"As long as I'm not cooking, yes." Lacey was grateful for the subject change.

"If you were cooking, I wouldn't be asking."

Lacey did a double take and saw him grinning. She felt a little weak in the knees. Damn that grin. "You really need to stop hanging out with me."


	10. Ten

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except Lacey, and believe me, she wishes I didn't. Everyone else belongs to Warner Brothers, DC Comics and all sorts of people that are not little old me.

Notes: Sorry for the very belated updated on this one. Life got in the way of posting this. But here it is. And thanks again to those of you that gave feedback and took the time to read. Love ya'll.

* * *

_**Ten**_

If it was one thing Lacey did, it was plan ahead. She'd chosen to take her vacation time the last week of May. So there she was. On vacation.

In her apartment. Wearing her pjs, watching dvds, and debating on making pancakes. Hey, she was actually good with pancakes.

So when there was a knock on her door, Lacey was a little annoyed by the interruption. She rolled off her couch and hit the floor with a groan. She was feeling _that _lazy. But she managed to get up and forced herself to walk to the door.

Lacey was going to kill Gina. She was. Gina had been warned not to bother her today, but she'd also seen the glint in her eyes. Lacey sighed as she unlocked the door. She was probably going to-

When she opened the door, it wasn't Gina on the other side. Oh no. Of course not. That would be fate being kind to her.

It was Clark, and in his hands were a bakery box and a gift-wrapped box.

Clark raised an eyebrow at her choice of attire. A purple tank top and matching pajama bottoms? Interesting. "This is how you spend your birthday?"

Lacey stepped aside and allowed him in. "It is when it's just me." Once inside, she shut and locked the door behind him. "How did you get up here and how did you know it was my birthday?"

"The answers to both your questions? Gina." Clark explained and set the boxes on the coffee table.

Yes, Gina was a dead woman, Lacey decided. A very dead woman. Lacey sighed and settled back onto the couch. She didn't lay down this time, but chose to sit up and pull her legs up to her chest. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I called in." He explained and sat down next to her. "I don't think they'll miss me for one day."

Lacey gasped in mock horror. "You're playing hooky? For shame. What kind of influence have I had on you?"

"The way I see it? A pretty good one." Clark smiled at her. When she ducked her head a little, he managed to catch a glimpse of the blush on her cheeks. That made his smile brighten. He liked having an effect on her. "What were you up to before I showed up?"

"I was watching movies." Lacey replied. She didn't look up until she felt the heat on her cheeks fade. Damn the man. "I was just about to start 'Grosse Pointe Blank'."

* * *

Several movies, some quick exits featuring Superman, six Chinese take out boxes, and half a cake later the pair were still watching movies. 

"Why did I sit through that?" Clark glanced down at Lacey in disbelief. The two had moved from the couch to the floor at some point and at that moment, Lacey and a penguin pillow were using his lap as a headrest.

Lacey preened. "Because I'm the birthday girl and I said please."

"How can _that _be your favorite movie?"

"Hey, 'Return of the Living Dead' is a horror movie masterpiece." Lacey had to defend her movie choice. She moved onto her back so that she could stare up at him. She began to list her reasons. "It has an amazing soundtrack, non-typical characters for the time, if you're into that sort of thing you get a punk chick's strip show, great special effects, insane logic, and hello? Tarman. _TARMAN_."

"Insane logic is right. The human jaw doesn't work that way. It can't-"

"Ok, don't. I used to have this exact same discussion with my brother. I already know it's not possible, but that's what makes it so fun." She smiled at him. "And you're mistaken by the way. It's not my favorite movie. It's my second favorite."

Clark groaned. If a zombie movie was her second favorite, he was afraid to know what her number one was. "Dare I ask?"

"I don't have it. I keep meaning to buy it, but then I get distracted by other shiny objects. Like tin foil. I'll be all, 'Ooh. Movie. I think it's time to- Shiny object! What was I doing?' Sometimes I have short attention span."

She was rambling. He knew he shouldn't have let her eat so much cake. "But what is it?"

"I knew you'd ask. It's 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'." Lacey laughed at the surprised look on his face. "Hey, I _am_ allowed to have favorites that don't involve hordes of Uruk-Hai and zombies."

Clark chuckled. "If you don't have it, what's next on the agenda? More cake?" He regretted mentioning that.

She made a face. "Ugh.. No. I think I'm sick of cake."

"Considering you ate three pieces, I'm not surprised." Clark teased.

She pouted in response. "It was good cake! Where did you get it anyway?"

Clark was vague about it. "Just a bakery I like to go to." She didn't need to know it was in Europe.

The vague tone made her suspicious. Her eyes narrowed. "Where is it at?"

"This nice little neighborhood.." It was the truth. "If you behave yourself, I'll take you to it."

Lacey rolled her eyes. If he wanted to be cagey about it, she'd let him. For now. She turned onto her side and grabbed the remote again. "If it involves flying, that is so never happening."

Clark frowned down at her even as he instinctively brushed aside a lock of hair from her face. He'd been inviting her for flights for months, but she always refused. He had assumed she was afraid of heights, but she'd never actually told him. "What is it with you and flying?"

"…" She idly flipped through channels on the tv, doing her best to pretend that she wasn't aware of his hand that was now toying with her hair. "I hate heights. Fear. Not good. The one time I flew, when not in a plane, was on Harry's broom." Lacey paused. "And that sounds a little kinky and wrong. But seriously, a flying broomstick. I kept my eyes closed the whole time and he lost my fedora. Stupid birds. Stupid flying."

"You'd be perfectly safe with me." Clark told her. He'd never let anything happen to her. "I can't promise about the hats."

"Yeah, well, maybe so, but I'd be expected to look around and then I'd probably pass out and die." It wasn't the whole truth. Yes, Lacey was afraid of heights, but she also saw flying with Superman to be a Lois Lane/Love Interest of Choice kind of event. Then there was the whole logical issue that normal people do not fly at super speed without the possibility of death. Then again, this world had comic book logic. Who the hell survived being tossed around a crashing plane like a rag doll with only bruises and one fainting spell? Only Lois Lane and the funny citizens of comic book logic. No way in hell was Lacey risking her ass for something like that. "And really, if I die? I'd only be entertaining to medical research and necrophiliacs."

Clark grimaced. That wasn't a visual he really wanted. "Thanks for that."

"You're welcome." Lacey stopped channel surfing and left the tv on some random movie. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what it was without using the viewing guide. "What is it with _you_ and flying?"

"What do you mean?" Clark asked with a slight frown.

"I mean, I get that you like to fly. It's your thing." Lacey set the remote down and clutched her pillow. "But why--" Why use it as a way to get back into Lois's graces upon your return? A romantic ploy? And why ask _her_?

When she didn't finish her question, Clark frowned. "Why what?"

She remained silent for a moment before releasing a tired sigh. "Nevermind. I kind of didn't have much of a point. You should know my oddities by now, Mr. Kent."

"Just how likely is it that I'll ever know all of your 'oddities'?"

"Not very." Lacey said with a light shrug. "I can change at any random moment. In fact, watch as I now do something so outrageously out of character, that it makes you keel over from shock!" It took all of her willpower, but she sat up. She also tried very hard not to think about how comfortable he was.

Clark was watching her with interest and she did something he didn't expect.

She handed him the remote.

Never had she done that before.

He stared at her. She stared back.

"What did you do?"

Lacey blinked at him. "Say what?"

Clark folded his arms across his chest. "You're offering me control over something you cling to. You did something and want to distract me."

"I did not!" Lacey said indigently. She knew he was teasing, but come on. It was her birthday. It was her day to do things. "If I wanted to distract you, I'd give you a lap dance." His eyes widened and she flashed him a coy look. Score. "Who knows? You might even get a discount."

Clark gave her a wary look. Now he definitely knew the cake was a bad idea. Not that he minded her tactics.

Lacey grinned at him and reached out to ruffle his hair. "Stop giving me that look. You know full well I'd never give you a lap dance. Even with the discount, you couldn't afford it."

Clark had comment ready, but before he could speak, his hearing caught the sound of sirens.

Lacey knew that look. It was Clark's trouble radar doing its thing. She stood up with a stretch. "Shoo, Blue. People need you."

Clark was already standing and ready to leave again, but he felt a little guilty. He'd done this so many times today already… "Are you-"

That eyebrow of hers arched and she began to shove Clark toward her balcony. "Goooo. No worries and no complaints here. I'll love ya anyway." And Lacey's mind broke. _Oh fuck. Damn damn damn. _Lacey wanted to hit the backspace key and delete that last comment. She could only hope that Clark didn't think she meant it the way she really did. She risked a glance at Clark while retaining as cool of a demeanor as she could.

He was grinning at her. "I'll be sure to remember that."

Lacey felt the brief touch of his lips as he stole a kiss before zipping away to save the day. She blinked and glanced around the living room with a sigh. Her favorite reporter had left another mess when he left. Papers fluttered to the floor and several knick-knacks were on their side.

"Maybe I should superglue everything down…" She mumbled before attempting to clean things up.

* * *

Clark found Lacey in the kitchen when he returned. He had already changed out of his Superman costume and he was silently watching her while she stirred some batter. "What are you doing?" 

Lacey cried out in surprise and dropped her spoon into the batter mix. She spun around with a glare. "Don't _do _that to me!" She snarled. "Are you _trying _to give me a heart attack?"

He smiled apologetically at her and she seemed to calm down enough from being angry to being annoyed. "I'm sorry." She once again picked up the spoon and he joined her at the counter. "So.. What are you making?"

"Pancakes." Lacey replied and resumed stirring. She looked over at him with a slightly distant expression and allowed her eyes to quickly scan him. "Everything ok?"

"It was a fire." He didn't want to go into much detail with her. He felt as if it would sound like bragging. Besides, she was being a little chilly toward him and he wanted to know why. "Why pancakes?"

"I had a craving this morning, but then you brought cake and we ate lots of takeout. So now I want my belated pancakes." She frowned and turned her attention back to the pancake batter. It was obvious that she was trying to build some distance and Clark was not about to let that happen.

Whether her comment from earlier was a slip or not, and it was looking like it was, she _had _said it and Clark didn't want to let that go. He opened his mouth to tell her exactly that.

"I can't do this." Lacey growled in annoyance and set her bowl on the counter with a little too much force. She spun around and stared at him while he snapped his mouth closed. "I can't be all grouchy and bitter at you just because I went and said something stupid. Don't get me wrong, I can do that to anyone else, but I can't do that to _you_. And this is all your fault in the first place!"

She took a breath that was meant to be calming, but it didn't do the trick. "First you get me all comfortable and banter happy, then you sneak up and become what could be considered my best friend. Then you keep on confusing me like mad. I mean honestly! What am I supposed to think? Standing there with those bright blue eyes and adorkable smile, gee what's a kiss here and there going to do? A hell of a lot! And you introduce me to your mother? Then your ex visits and I get all jealous and imagine turning her into fish sticks and damn it, I really hate the fact that you look like a deer caught in headlights while I tell you that I am actually _in _love with you." Lacey placed her hands on her hips and glowered at him. "I hope you're pleased with yourself."

Clark had to admit it as he felt the smile on his face. He kind of was. Even as Lacey's glower turned to a look of wariness, he couldn't help but laugh. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. The maneuver caused her to 'eep' but she didn't actually protest. He leaned down toward her and she gave him a shifty look. "You have no idea."

Lacey swallowed, her bravado from just a moment ago had already faded. "Speaking of ideas.." She said in a soft tone, "This is a very bad one."

Clark lifted his free hand and gently pushed some falling strands of hair behind Lacey's ear. "The only reason you think that is because you're paranoid. Thankfully, your unique sense of paranoia is just one of the more endearing qualities that remind me why I love you."

"Yes, well I-" Lacey froze. If her own revelations had broken her brain, this one had just punched reality. Her eyes were wide. _Get yourself together, girl! _"--Oh." That was all she could say? _Think, damn it! Think! _"For the record, I'm not going to apologize for the fish stick thing."

"I wouldn't dream of asking." Clark laughed.

Lacey rolled her eyes and then surprised him when she hugged him tightly. She felt his arms tighten around her and she had to admit, continuity screw up or not? This was totally worth it. "This isn't going to change everything, is it?"

"What do you think?"

"I think I may need to get over my fear of flying." Lacey said and pulled him down for a kiss. Maybe, just maybe, she was getting a happy ending.

Since the world didn't end and Lacey didn't wake up on her couch in Missouri, there was a chance.

These days, that was good enough for her.


End file.
